Today is our anniversary and this occasion I want to use to write about us and about a good relationship.
To get to know
I have met my wife at times when I felt so bad like never before. I was still in education and could offer her nothing with my 27 years. Nevertheless, she has taken me as I am and we have mastered a lot in life together.
If I think back now, the most important factor is that she let me into her life, although I could not offer her anything. If you’re successful, it’s different from having a common belief in having a better future.
The Bi-Cultural Family
I come from a Turkish family and my wife from a German. Of course, having a bi-cultural family creates difficulties, but as long as you respect and tolerate each other and each other’s family, nothing can go wrong.
You have to make many compromises and accept them as they are. I think we’re doing very well and that’s why we’re so happy.
There are two types of relationships.
- The woman dedicates her strength to 100% of her family
- The woman has to divide 50 50 between her job and her family
Being a housewife has become an insult in the current society and as a result, there is no longer a family awareness, each family member earns his own money and makes his own ventures.
I was fortunate enough to meet a woman who does not care much about money and who cares more about the immaterial. Besides, she is incredibly good at ignoring the people who say “You have to work! Otherwise you will not get a pension!”.
When I come home in the evening and my wife has already set the table nicely and we talk about our day, that’s really good. It is best to see that she likes what she does. I do not know why one should marry otherwise.
For example, I know many families where husband and wife both work and in the evening hardly have time to see one another to have a real conversation. These are families where a family dinner is an exception. I can not understand it at all, because with us a not common dinner is an absolute exception.
There is the term Kanaat in Islamic terminology. This means that you are satisfied with what you have. Kanaat is the level from when you are satisfied with what you have. It is also the answer to every family problem that exists on Earth at the moment.
For example, if you want to have a new kitchen every year, you raise the bar of your Kanaat very much and you have to work harder. This means that you can spend less time with your family and have less peace. If you want to travel a lot, you’ll have to do a lot more work and spend less time with your family. The more you fixate on the material, the more unhappy you become in life.
In this day and age it is almost impossible to find a partner whose Kanaat level is very high. It’s almost like a pasture full of shamrocks and the right partner is a four-leaf clover.
But that’s not surprising, because on television, on social media, on billboards in shops and even in schools we are taught that you can only be special if you have a financial strength and are independent. A family life is not taught to the current society. The only where you can learn more about it are books and the rate of people who read a book is known.
There are three ways to get to know someone truly and build trust in him:
- You do business with each other
- You travel together
- You marry
In order to get to know my wife better, I got along with her a lot and was always convinced that she was right for me. I have seen how much she trusts in my choices, and since everything is mutual, I can trust her too.
Of course, it’s incredibly important to keep your balance. In my view, that means I have to make sure my wife can decide everything as much as I can. Or that I at least ask for her opinion on a topic before I implement it.
Household income belongs to both of us and both can freely dispose of it as they wish. This is for example with families, where both parties work, not that way.
No matter who says something about a family where two completely different cultures meet. I’m glad about my decision and I do not regret it. I am grateful to God for bringing me together with such a good girl and enjoying every single second with her.
Everything makes more fun with her. Whether it is traveling, walking, eating out or playing. Finally I have someone in my life with whom I can talk about all my problems and who cares about me when I’m not feeling well. This makes life much more fun and gives you new energy every day to fight for your family.
Who knows? Maybe I write in a day my blog post about our first child … I hope so at least 😀