I was invited to a German wedding for the first time and thought that was really nice. That’s why I would like to share my experience with you and give you a comparison to a classic Turkish wedding.
Before I start, I want to make it clear that this article should not be a rating of the two cultures but show what differences prevail.
I’ve learned that only a certain number of people (about 80 – 100 people) are invited to a classic German wedding. In contrast to a Turkish wedding, a list is made by the participants (closest friends and family) and specifically given an invitation.
Thereafter, these persons are also assigned a place in the wedding hall, where they were consciously sat by the bride and groom. At a Turkish wedding, you do not care about the allocation of seats, because you usually expect several hundred to a thousand or maybe even more guests. There is the rule that everyone can sit down where he wants.
The location was cozy and quiet. There was a bar, seating for the guests and a terrace. When I came in, no one could answer the question of where the bridal couple would be sitting. I was used to it from Turkish weddings, that the newlyweds sit in the places where it is furnished most pompously.
Yesterday, however, I learned that sitting on a German wedding, the newlyweds not uplifted but whose seat is the same as that of the guests.
It was announced at some point that the bridal couple will come in at any moment, We have all got small chopsticks, where small threads were tied to it. Everyone should stand up and form a small alley and hold their chopsticks over the bride and groom and wave a little.
It took a little time and WUMS the groom stood in front of me and greeted everyone and went with the bride through the formed lane. That was new to me because I know it differently from a Turkish wedding.
At a Turkish wedding the lights are dimmed, a separate music is played and sometimes there is even a small firework when the bridal couple comes in. Then the bridal couple dances under dimmed light and when they are finished the lights are turned on again and the bridal couple sits down on the separately prepared space for them.
The further process
After this reception it is like a cozy meal together. Everyone can talk comfortably and the bride and groom are also quite normal with the guests. It does not play over-louded music, so it could disrupt the conversation.
At a Turkish wedding this is quite different from the point of view. At a Turkish wedding, the live band plays music throughout and it is danced throughout. If you need a comfortable conversation you have to go out and talk to the person in front of you. The newlyweds sit in their seats at the beginning and only get up to either dance, receive the guests or go to the bathroom.
Activities / Games
That was one more thing I did not know before. In the further course smaller games were played, which were very interesting and fun. I have not laughed so much for a long time as the games were played.
Get up when …
In this game, the bride and groom were turned face to face to the guests and behind them on the wall texts were displayed with the projector. Such as
- Get up if you belong to the family.
- Get up if you’ve been on vacation with the bride and groom.
- Get up if you’ve already climbed together with the bride and groom.
The corresponding guests are then got up and the bride and groom had to guess together which group has gotten up. It was amazing that they guessed all the groups. I would have failed so hard 😂
Will he / she succeed?
At the bachelorette party, the bride and groom got tasks they had to do. These were recorded and a video was made of the tasks.
The guests were first asked if they think that the bride or groom can handle this task and a website where anyone could go on was displayed on the projector, with his smartphone the guests could vote. The results were then transmitted live to the projector.
After the vote came the resolution and it was shown in the video if the bride / groom has fulfilled the task or not.
Paint a photo
There was a table where a photo of the bridal couple was placed and there was a blank sheet on which you could paint the photo. For the guests next to it was paint, and enough brush provided. Anyone who wants to could paint the photo on the sheet and the result is then taken at the end of the newlyweds.
There was an area where a camera was set up where you can shoot photos of yourself and other people. There were also provided costumes, etc. so that you can dress up funny and then shoot a photo of yourself or other guests.
There was a table where the guests could bring their presents. This happened without an announcement of who has given what or how much money the bridal couple got from this guest. At a Turkish wedding, for example, there is a time for when the gifts are received and then the gift is spoken aloud through the microphone, so everyone can hear it. For example:
- 500 € from the Yilmaz family
- A gold piece from Salih Demirören
- 50 € from his cousin Mücahid
Partly there are also Turkish families, who later look at this recording at home and write down who they will give something in return …
In that regard, I found the table with the gifts much more pleasant, where everyone could lay down their present and the couple could then take with them later.
Of course that was a whole new and different experience that I made. It was unbelievably beautiful and I’m really thankful that I was allowed to be there. However, if someone asks me whether a German or a Turkish wedding is better, I could not answer that. I think that there can be no answer to this question, because you do not get managed a classic German wedding with the number of Turkish guests. To get this done, you would have to hire your own group just for the organization.
However, what I found very good at the German wedding was that it is more personal than the Turkish one. That means it is more talked to each other and get to know each other better. At the Turkish weddings I miss that unfortunately.